Wednesday, May 13, 2009

What do you think?

Off to the corner in an office building sat my 5 year old building Lego's as high as he could.  Just in earshot of him were several ladies.  Our Asperger's group has dwindled in numbers as of late...but we were there nonetheless.

Two women were Hispanic, one with a wild mane and the other with a slick bun showing of a porcelain face. The woman to the left of me had very pale skin and natural blond hair. She had the classic farmer tan from riding her horse. There I sat...the lone black woman...not a token...just another concerned mother.  On my right were a mother and daughter correction...grannie and mommy dream team. (They had the same nose and bright eyes.) With a blackberry and coffee in her hand...front and center was our fearless Italian? German? English? mix of a girl with dark brown hair and blue or green eyes, revealing a figure that says..."Are you sure she birthed 3 kids?"

I was glad I was there because it's really a night I just let it ALL hang out about what's going on with my boys.  I tell about the joys, the pain, and the great things that God is doing...and the silence I might be getting from prayers asked with a begging in my voice.  Prayers that might be answered with a "no" or "wait".

As we talked about our kids, the air was strong with scented woman sighed...

"I can't go to church with my children. One doesn't talk and the other has sensory issues and runs off."

Then I retorted..."I've been there."

She said..."What do you do when they put your number on the screen...I just don't go because I don't want some nursery worker coming to get me about my's just not worth it."

"Hey...I didn't have any sense...I once took my kids to a church and BOTH of their numbers came up from different screens in the worship the same time!"

"Lorrie, what did you do?"

"I went to the nursery room of the easiest child first...I figured the other will keep...and he did."

We all laughed and moved on to another topic. 

Of course I'm still thinking about it and can't let it go.
We really didn't answer her question...we just gave her a place where she's understood.
I'm asking this question mainly for those of you who have "typical" children...(and I mean your child has never been to a psychologist, been tested for any neurological disorders, behavior disorders, doesn't have an IEP or 504)... Those of you with special needs children...please feel free to answer as well...

is this lady right with the statement...

"I can't go to church with my children."

I know what I'd say (if I had the chance to tonight)...and I know what God's word says...

but I'm curious as to...

What do you think?
(and obviously...I had too much coffee because I'm still awake.)


Alicia said...

Hi Lorrie!
I think I can understand where she's coming from. I'm assuming she means she can't take them there because she feels like, "What's the point?" I think that's all the more reason to take them there! This way, they can be around kids, and also be surrounded by people who love the Lord and will also encourage her as a mother!! I think for the most part, the people serving in Children's Ministry are very patient and will try to work w/ your children.

Just my opinion...:)

Beth in NC said...

I agree with Alicia. If there is any place these children need to be is in a place where people can show them the love of Jesus. The parents definitely need the support and the fellowship/corporate worship/encouragement.

On another note -- I would be so blessed if you could use my daughter's youtube during children's church. How sweet would that be??!?!?

Love ya!

Amanda said...

YOu know what? As a parent of 'normal' kids... I'll just take your word for that....

I would have to say, I want ALL kids there. I want everyone who wants to hear the Word to HEAR IT!! WHo am I to say who has the right to have fellowhsip??? I don't care if there are disruptions and bursts of energy and talking... I want every child of His to be able to worship Him in His house.

So. Anywno... totally off subject. I saw your comment at Beths blog and wanted to offer you this resource..

And also, have you tried Jenny McCarthy's solution for Aspergers?? What do you think of all that?? I tend to agree with her on a lot of her ideas and theory's about nutrition... its how I try to feed my kids as well!

God bless you!

mimi said...

When my boys were younger, we got to a place where we just stopped going to church. The church we were going to were not very "kind" or understanding of children that were not "normal". Normal in their eyes I guess, or what they thought was normal. Not sure if that answered the question?
We go to a church now that is wonderful, understanding and so encouraging of our boys!!

Lorrie said...

The diet GF/CF (Jenny McCarthy) works for some children well and doesn't for others. The thing that works well for ALL children are the supplements that her son is on. All my boys take the same supplements. Financially it's quite pricy since supplements aren't covered by my insurance for all but one...but it's worth it. I'd rather go broke doing it naturally then introducing psychotropic (sp?) drugs. (But I'm going to judge anyone who gives their child psychotropics....(Ritilin, Xanax, Respiradol) because I only live with my kids...not there. And also here the best little secret....Fasting and Prayer! (I'm totally serious about that.) God either changes them, the situation, or me!

Lorrie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Bethany said...

This has come up with foster parenting as well. People sometimes stop going to church because of their foster kids' behaviour issues. I think that stinks and that a church should do it's best to support all parents no matter how difficult the kids.

Terable said...

You left out the part about the lone dad that showed up and had a great time playing legos with your son! Be careful, the mechanical engineer thing is contagious! :)

As for church, it is less about your location on any given Sunday, and more about your moral and ethical alignment in life.

Lorrie said...

Dear Terable...God's word says that we shouldn't get in the habit of NOT meeting with each other. With that does matter where you are on Sunday since the majority of Christians have set this time aside to Worship Christ. Is could have been Monday, Tuesday...whatever...but Sunday is the logical choice given the fact that Jesus rose on a Sunday.
How can we learn and grow in Jesus if we're not making a conscious effort to set aside time involved in prayer, bible study and worship. Morals and ethics are good but they won't bring us eternal life.