Wednesday, March 25, 2009

forgiving like children

My middle one, who comes off arrogant, loud, rude and snotty is really a boy who doesn't like his sing-songy voice, has a hard time keeping friends, and has a high level of anxiety and is socially delayed in many respects.  Well we have this one boy at our church that appears to really look like the kind of kid you'd want your child to hang with.  
When in reality...he's a good kid but has a tendency to be a bully.  

For weeks my son has been bullied by this kid.  I was trying to keep out of it so my son could handle it on his own.  I was giving him ideas of "just walk away from him...just ignore him...yell at him like you do adults" anything!   But none of it was working.  It got to the point he was claiming he had a stomach ache, a headache, a kidney ache every Sunday morning.'ve got to's Sunday!  No fever, no green snot, no blood, no're going.

Finally, my son did the inevitable.  The boy said one taunt too many and my son popped him in the face.  Now I don't condone violence.  It's one thing when my 4 year old hits out of frustration (not being able to verbalize well - which is so embarrassing by the way...what else says "bad mommy club")...but a 10 year old is another thing altogether (I think I'll get a "bad mommy club" gold card for that.

Needless to say, the boy recoiled and went into service.
Well I decided to tell his grandmother since my oldest son and the bully's brother told me what happened.  (I wish you could see the smirk on my oldest son's just gotta love sibling love.)

When I told the grandmother she wasn't even shocked.  She laughed and said..."I knew his mouth would get him into trouble and he's had several fights at school".

What?  He's had several fights at school?  You're not fazed that my kid popped your grandson? 

Maybe an eye for an eye isn't such a bad thing.  

Two Sunday's ago my son and the "bully" were plotting how they were going to get themselves up a tree they love to climb and they seemed like ole' friends.  My son had forgotten what was said and the other boy had forgotten he'd been hit.

Children have the greatest capacity for forgiveness.  They don't wallow in self pity (well not often) and they keep moving on.  If only we could forgive like our children.

Matthew 18: 21 - Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?"
Jesus answered, I tell you, not seven times, but seventy times seven.

Who do you need to forgive?  


Love Abounds At Home said...

oh I love it! As a mom I think I would have smirked.....Oops!....That would have gotten me a "bad mommy club" platinum card.
Kids are so forgiving. I don't understand why when we become adults don't don't forgive like children. When someone hurts us, we hold on to it like a security blanket.

Everybody's Mama said...

I can forgive much more quickly when it is something that hurts me. But when someone hurts my husband or my children well...I have a very hard time with forgiveness then. And I am dealing with some of that right now so this was a timely post!

LaShawn Lytle said...

This was such a cute little story.
I feel that this even happens with older boys. After they fight and deal with the problem its over. They can be friends.
I wouldn't say the same for girls though (having worked with the a lot) seems like we are more prone to hold onto something like that or if someone hurts someone we love...but as we get older we have to learn. I know I pray about holding grudges daily!

licia31 said...

It's so much easier for kids to forgive than adults. Maybe we're too corrupt; don't know for sure. However, I'm learning a lot more about forgiving. I think that I saw in a Tyler Perry movie or play that you forgive for yourself. Meaning, you have to let go sometimes. Because if you don't, guess what, that person's still sleeping @ night w/ no remorse or anything. When you forgive for yourself, you are able to move on & have peace.