Tuesday, August 11, 2009

taming the tongue

I've been around folks ALL WEEKEND and WEEK...so I saw this verse played out more than once.

Proverbs 16:30
He winks his eye to devise perverse things;
He purses his lips and brings about evil.

Bottom line is 
Watch out for people who grin and wink at you; they have thought of something evil.


Flattery for flattery sake.

Flattery for the sake 
of slandering (i.e. sticking it to someone else) while they're talking...

Turns out folks...it's unbiblical.

Yep...just plain ole' sin.

OK you're asking what is flattery that's sinful and what isn't?

It's the thought behind the comment.

What's the reason you or I, for that matter, are saying what we're saying.

BOY! I have several examples from this weekend and yesterday....but I can't use them...

One...to protect the innocent, and two...I'd be guilty of slander.

OK...I'll use one...

and try my best not to be slanderous...

I was sitting in the company of church friends...I say it that way because we wouldn't be friends if we weren't all going to the same church (or maybe we would...who knows)...we're just having a meal and hanging out.  My husband and another man had just left the table and it was just us women.  I was still turned away from them...but started to listen to their conversation as one woman gushed and glowed about a certain child.

That's ok...this child deserves the praise, as do all children when they do well.

and then...it happened...

She talked about the child that was next to the "glowing" child...who's parents weren't there.

How she expected this child...because of being just too cute...would have been better...more knowledgeable...blah,blah.

I sat there thinking...(boy this conversation is headed down hill...)

Before one more syrupy comment could come out... she was stopped cold with...


One of the moms said..."well it changes from day to day."  And another mom said "just wait...they all have their moments."

Praise the Lord!

Another mom said...

"Yeah...we never know what we're going to get."

Now I'm not saying these moms who spoke appropriately ALWAYS do what we're suppose to do...but in this case... they followed the second half of Proverbs 10:12...

Proverbs 10:12
Hate stirs up trouble, and love overlooks all offences.

Don't stir up trouble with your mouth today...look for ways to overlook offences! 
Be a blessing to someone today with what you say
...not fake flattery...just God's truth!



Beth in NC said...

Great reminder!

Alicia said...

So true!!! I know I've been guilty of this before!!!!!

Bethany said...

I struggled with this this weekend too. I visited with a friend who just wanted to gossip. I tried not to play into it but I know I could have done better, in one instance specifically. I need to get bolder about just saying NO to talking behind people's backs, unless it's nice talk. I also endured some criticism of my precious offspring this weekend and found it very hard to take. Lord help me to be as loving and generous about others' children as I hope people will be about mine.

mimi said...

Have I told you how much I love your taming the tongue posts!! Makes me nod my head because of things that I have witnessed, but this also reminds me to be careful and thoughtful with my words!

Alicia said...

Hi Lorrie!!

You'll be surprised to know that I use the Nikon Cool Pix camera!!!! So affordable compared those $$$$$$ ones that I want..lol! I got it at Costco for a little over $100!!!! I love it! It does all the basic things I need it to do!

Erin said...

I just had a conversation about this very topic with my kids on the way home from a visit with a relative we rarely see. "Did you notice how Mommy talked about all the relatives we knew without saying anything she would be embarrassed to have that very person hear? Did you notice the conversation kept going without unkindness?" My point was simply you can converse with honesty without disclosing secrets or being unkind. Yes, so and so might be difficult to be around, but you can just say that you don't spend a lot of time with so and so without going into details. You don't have to say that so-and-so is your best friend, you just have to remember your place. It was a terrific conversation and I'm glad I'm not the only one thinking about these things.

Dani Joy said...

I needed this! I have been struggling with my tongue. gotta pray harder and keep it sealed tighter!
Big hugs, sista!