Tuesday, May 05, 2009

Taming the Tongue Tuesday!

O.k.  I'm growing and know how to tame my tongue when it comes to someone slandering me...but 
Oh boy!! I don't do well in the children department.  

Regardless if it's true or not...and you know it's true...if someone says something negative about your kids or your family...you go into mama bear mode.  
You're thinking up ways to attack or some ugly little comeback.  (Don't sit there smug like you don't...You do too.)

You wonder when the Lord will strike them and you want to be there to watch.  
You don't mind being attacked yourself...but you REFUSE to let folks come after your loved ones.

"Oh your daughter...she's cute...even though she's got a lot of weight on."  You start that stinkin' thinking.  Lord strike her now.

"Oh he's got a mouth on him...can you put a muzzle on it."  
You start that stinkin' thinking.  "Ummm God..take him out now please."

"Boy...she's already 51 and not married? Is there a personality flaw I don't know about?"
More stinkin' thinking...
You're thinking....lightening...o.k. fire and lightening.

"Man...I hope I don't have your twins in my class...they just wear me out!"
Duhh...they wear me out too...that's not a newsflash!

Well my oldest came home from school, got his snack and said this....

B says to his brother..."Hey Nathan,  you know you're older than Jared and he's more mature than you are?  You're like the maturity of a 2nd grader and he's the maturity of a freshman."

"So! I like being a second grader."  His brother continues to play his legos.

So then the hairs on my head start standing up.  MAMA BEAR is starting to rise...

"Umm, Hey B, who told you that?" (I was asking because I wanted to know who to throw my mama bear wrath on.)

"Oh...we had a whole discussion about it in @($&&$, and X@% said it!."

So here's where I had to hold my tongue....and start the rewiring of my brain, (courtesy of the Holy spirit).  My initial thought was...MAMA BEAR WRATH is coming.  (o.k the statement is true...but I was still upset...)

So there I am...explaining to my child how slanderous that was and how we can't be slanderous.  I'm sitting at the computer and type in S.L.A.N.D.E.R and up comes this...

"We are fools for Christ, but you are so wise in Christ!  We are weak but you are strong!  You are honored, we are dishonored! We work hard with our own hands.  
When we are cursed, we bless; 
when we are persecuted; we endure it
when we are slandered, we answer kindly." 1 Corinthians 4 10 and 12

Note to self....after reading the bible the wind has just gone out of my sails.

Then this is what pops in my head...(thanks to no thinking of my own, probably the Holy Spirit again...man was He busy with me...)

A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

Great! God are you telling me I have to tell him that he should just ignore comments like that? That I have to ignore comments like that?  
I want to tell him to stick up for his brother...even if it's true.  
I can't even get mad at who said it?
Great...What about the merits of adults holding their tongues?  
What about the merits of family honor?  What about the feelings of a little boy who always feels out of place feeling MORE out of place?
You say that's not my job? Man...I can't even get angry...and I have to treat folks the same...as if they didn't say anything?
Alright...but don't expect it overnight.....o.k. well maybe in a few hours....o.k. I'll stop the stinkin' thinking...right now.  I'll treat the person like it never happened....really...I will! 

And by the time I started to write this post...my gentle answer...in my head...had already put "Mama Bear Wrath" out of my conversation and out of its misery.

Isn't God good.  So my Taming the Tongue Tuesday post turned out to be an object lesson with me as the object.

The next time you encounter slander...remember to "answer kindly".


Love Abounds At Home said...

You need to move in next door to me. That way it would be easier for me to tame my tongue because my next door neighbors are.....ooops! Lol!
I love my neighborhood. It's just daily I have to tame the tongue and not let any unwholesome word proceed out of my mouth. :)

Country Life Girl said...

Thanks for the post, really helped me and opened my eyes. Blessings!

Anonymous said...

Yes God is so good...well worded, keeps me mindful too...thanks

Alicia said...

It's so hard, isn't it??? That's why the bible says that the tongue cannot be tamed! Arrgh! But, through the Hold Spirit we can learn to take those thoughts captive!

I know I would be one to quickly defend my kids. I think most moms are that way. But, you did a good job and didn't have that "retaliation" attitude!! LOL

SILVIA said...

loved this post Lorrie, you can do or say whatever you want about me But when it comes to my daughter i go insane its like something takes over me,dont know why??lol, but like you say i have to learn how answer kindly..lol.have a good my friend i'll be back later love reading your posts...


Lorrie said...

Alicia...I'm glad you said the tongue can't be tamed. Because all last night and this morning...I've been having BAD thoughts pop into my head about his teacher and I'm like..."O.k. that the devil...don't listen to it...just ignore it." You know if I was judge on everything I said...I'd be in big trouble too. It's hard not to judge folks on things that they say. It's so hard to take those thoughts captive.. uugghhh! Doing God's will isn't a bed of roses...you want to retaliate...but you can't...but if I hear it while I'm right there...Well I don't what will happen..."Help me Holy Ghost."

Bethany said...

that is a tough one. As soon as I started reading it I got GRRRRRRR on your behalf. I have been on the other side of that, though: I told C to be careful of spending too much time with a certain school friend because I was afraid they'd get in trouble together in class. She interpreted that as, My mom doesn't like you and doesn't want me to play with you." And that child TOLD HER MOM who called me on it, very sweetly I might add. Wow, talk about your backpedaling. I have a hard time keeping my mouth shut abaout people's kids and I know I need to work on it; thanks for the reminder!

Sandy Toes said...

OH so VERY VERY TRUE... I think it is natural to stick up for your kids or think only the best. But, the truth is that everyone does wrong..thinks wrong things..acts in a wrong way...

Someone told my son he is sooo "braggy"...My first reaction was not good but then analyzing it...there was something for my son to learn through this even though it "hurt". We have been stressing to him to have a "humble" spirit so it should not surprise me that his struggle away from us...has popped up....

Sometimes the Mama Bear Wrath can hurt our kids than help them...
Great post! Okay..I am done now :)
sandy toe

mimi said...

Oh mama bear...I'm such a mama bear too!! It's interesting, while driving in the car today I heard a message from a pastor that was also talking about this subject. One thing he said..."don't repay evil with evil".

I've had to play mama bear on many occasion. Most times, I hold it inside and cry....sometimes I vent. I rarely confront...I hate confrontation. This rambling comment is trying to say...I understand!

A Stone Gatherer said...

You know I've had those very thoughts. I feel I must defend! But then I look at what Jesus did and realize that I need to be just like him! Boy it gets you though doesn't it!!!!

Anonymous said...

Wow. I just came over here to say hi, not to get convicted! I needed to hear this. This Mama Bear can get her hackles up in a hurry. I forget that their heavenly Father can protect them a lot better than I ever could. Thanks for the reminder!